|I love fairy tales. I do not love listening to people gush about "fairy-tale love." You want fairy-tale love, people? Here you go. Help yourselves. Watch out for the violent transformations and the psychopathic behaviour of hedgehog people.|
|I met you beside the fountain
In the woods. You were a frog. And then
You taught me how to fill
My sieve with water. I was grateful. When
You trailed me home that night,
I was less grateful, but was still okay
Till you forced me to behead you.
The frog corpse in my bed
Was probably a symbol of
Our perfect and romantic
I had these enchanted horses
That I got pretending to be dumb;
I rode them up a mountain,
And you threw three apples at me. Some
Might say we didn’t know
Each other very well, but you had breasts,
And I had golden armour:
The prosecution rests.
When I unmasked and showed
My homely face, that roomful of
Great kings and nobles shouted,
You were a hedgehog.
Your first wife;
You maimed her. She died.
You threatened me.
I married you too.
That’s what you’re supposed to do.
Doesn’t matter what I see.
I’ve heard this is destiny.
I tricked a whole bunch of giants
Into dying at each other’s hands.
The king then gave you to me,
Plus a quite enormous stretch of lands.
You tried to have me killed
Because I wasn’t good enough for you,
But I was really clever,
And I tricked you too.
You still resent me, as
You feel you are too far above
My station. All will envy
Our fairy-tale love.
I kidnapped you from a tower.
You’re escaping from my mountain lair.
I’m dressed in rotting leather.
You spend all day as a talking bear.
I’m longing for your shoes.
I ran away because I thought you lied.
I got you pregnant
After you died.
It’s satisfying that
We’re called a great example of
A destined and idyllic
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