Kari Maaren

I've Got Too Many Clones
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This is one of those songs (of which I have several) that started out with an extraordinarily silly idea; in fact, it started out with the line that has now become the title.  Then it just sort of became about something else as well.  At any rate, people should think more about the problems caused by rampant, out-of-control cloning.  Think of the children.  The clone children.  So very many clone children...

Recording

Lyrics
I've Got Too Many Clones
Thank you for meeting me;
I know that my request is rather strange.
But there is something
About my life that I would love to change.
It's time that I got this in hand.
It's time for me to take a stand.

It's true this problem
Is one that many people haven't got.
My friends and family
Just wave it off as trivial.  It's not.
I thought that I would have some fun,
And never quite expected I'd have none.

I've got too many clones.
I don't know what to do.
I asked the scientists
To stop at two.
They don't know what they've done
Or do, but just don't care.
And now it's much too late:
The clones are everywhere.

It was quite simple:
I needed clones who sometimes would be me.
Life is exhausting;
I simply want the world to let me be.
I thought if I had clones I could
Be all alone, which would be good.

I ordered some, but
I guess I didn't really think it through.
My clones weren't useful
Because they were quite introverted too.
They wanted to stay home alone,
And so they ordered more clones of their own.

I've got too many clones.
I don't know what to do.
I asked the scientists
To stop at two.
They don't know what they've done
Or do, but just don't care.
And now it's much too late:
The clones are everywhere.

They're living in my bedroom,
In the bathroom, on the stairs,
Inside the closet, in the kitchen,
Under beds and under chairs.
And they don't want to go to parties,
And why did I not foresee
That all the clones would want to stay home
And eat chips and watch TV?
And where I once made up pretexts
For just staying in my shell,
Now I must dream up good excuses
For my many clones as well.
And every day, a new one turns up
Looking worried and alone,
And it is very hard to win a staring
Contest with a clone.

You're my only hope now;
I can see the writing on the wall.
The only way I
Can get some peace is just to kill them all.
I've heard that that is what you do,
And so I put my trust in you.

It doesn't matter
To me how you plan to proceed.
Fire or water,
Guns, poison, swords: I'll get you what you need.
And I will gladly pay your fee
If you ensure there's only one of me.

I've got too many clones.
I don't know what to do.
I asked the scientists
To stop at two.
They don't know what they've done
Or do, but just don't care.
And now it's much too late:
The clones are everywhere.

I've got too many clones.
I don't know what to do.
I asked the scientists
To stop at two.
They don't know what they've done
Or do, but just don't care.
And now it's much too late:
The clones are everywhere.

And now it's much too late:
The clones are everywhere.

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Content copyright Kari Maaren 2013
Images copyright Kari Maaren, Phil Mills, Erik Mohr, and Karl Stahl 2013