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What Would Batman Do? |
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| It's
kind of interesting just how easy it is to move from "What would Batman
do?" to "And now I shall CONQUER THE WORLD. Ahhahahahaha!"
It is probably not particularly inaccurate to call this my
supervillain song. |
| Recordings |
| Lyrics |
| What Would Batman Do? |
| When I end up in a tricky
Situation, and there’s no Way for me to solve it, plus There’s nowhere left for me to go, I’ve developed my own mantra That will help me think it through. When I’m in a bad dilemma, I ask, “What would Batman do?” When I’m walking on the sidewalk And there’s some guy on a bike Who is knocking down old ladies, Whom he seems to dislike, Or when I am getting coffee And somebody cuts the queue, Making me extremely thirsty, I ask, “What would Batman do?” When a couple at a movie Won’t stop talking in my ear, When a spider on my pillow Leaves me paralysed with fear, When an amateur musician Starts in on “A Boy Named Sue,” Accompanied by a ukulele, I ask, “What would Batman do? Bruce Wayne is a billionaire Whose power is that he’s Bruce Wayne. I guess he can be Batman ‘Cause inside he is in constant pain. But it may also help That he has enough money to accrue His gadgets; if I’m to be Like him, I’ll need money too. When I’m holding up the teller In the bank across the street From the jewellery store I’m robbing Next, after which thrilling feat I am planning to fence diamonds From the vault I broke into To a truly frightening drug lord, I ask, “What would Batman do?” When I’m fleeing from the coppers In a helicopter that I have borrowed from the rooftop Of some hospital whose CAT Scanner I have gone and broken Just before spreading the flu From a beaker labelled “lethal,” I ask, “What would Batman do?” I wish I had someone just like Alfred who would give advice Every time I had to make Some big decision, and it would be nice To have someone to keep Me on the righteous path. Well, anyhoo, I doubt that’s necessary; I know what Batman would do. When I’m hiding in my lair, Stacks of money at my feet, Helpless slaves in thrall around me, Musing on what I should eat After I bring down the mayor, Maybe the whole country too— Soon the world will bow before me!— I ask, “What would Batman do?” When the long and massive manhunt Leads the cops at last to me And I’m caught and tried and punished And they throw away the key And I’m called “insane,” “unstable,” “Made of evil,” “bad all through,” And I find my cell door open... I ask, “What would Batman do?” Back to Music page |