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Fake Geek Guy |
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| This one's going to take a bit more explaining than
usual. I've been wanting to write a "fake geek girl" song for a while now, but all my half-formed ideas have seemed to be heading in the direction of self-righteous preachiness. A couple of weeks ago, however, I went to a Doubleclicks concert. The Doubleclicks have a "fake geek girl" song of their own, "Nothing to Prove." If you don't know it, go have a listen. I'll wait: "Nothing to Prove" Welcome back. After the concert, I started getting ideas, mostly because some of the things the Doubleclicks said while they were introducing the song. This, of course, sounds like a sneaky sort of plagiarism, but to be absolutely frank, the Doubleclicks' song is a moving autobiographical anthem, while mine is just kind of mean. At any rate, I would like to thank the Doubleclicks for inadvertently nudging me into inspiration. Let's just say that despite the similarity in topic, we are approaching the same problem from radically different angles. Think of this song as taking place in a world that is very like the actual world...except that our society is now the product of a long history of female dominance. And yes, the song name-drops Gail Simone. More songs should. |
| Recording |
| Lyrics |
| Fake Geek
Guy |
| Since I was eight years old, I’ve wanted to be Batgirl. I make grappling hooks and batarangs, And the other girls and I all strive To foil the Joker’s plot to kill The whole Bat-family, as told In Gail Simone’s dark chronicle Of Batgirl’s valiant struggle to survive. I notice that your Batman Costume’s mixing eras. And your colour scheme is off, and you’re Too pudgy, and you’re not so tall. I doubt you even know that Batman’s Gloves were purple in their first Appearance in the thirties. You Should not be dressed as Batman at all. Hey, dude, What’s going on? Why are you even At this con? You can’t be one Of us; get gone. Your costume is a lie. Hey, look, I’ve confessed: This conversation was a test. You failed like All the rest. Go home; You’re just a fake geek guy. I miss the old days when I could come to conventions And could talk about the things I loved With other people just like me. Oh, sure, there would be one or two Of you; you didn’t bother us Because you knew your place and stayed Off on the margins. That’s how it should be. But now it’s cool to be a geek, And suddenly you’ve noticed, And you hang around because you think That makes you cool and geeky too. You say you love the fandoms, but We know you are just posturing. These properties are ours; you won’t Admit that they were never meant for you. Hey, dude, What’s going on? Why are you even At this con? You can’t be one Of us; get gone. Your costume is a lie. Hey, look, I’ve confessed: This conversation was a test. You failed like All the rest. Go home; You’re just a fake geek guy. Your costume is too sexy. Why is it so sexy? You should hide Your muscles and your package ‘cause We know that you’re just taunting us. Do you really think you’re sexy? You’ve got rolls of fat on your backside. Cover up and move on through. We don’t want to look at you. I know you think you’ve Broken through into our clubhouse, But you’ll never really understand What makes a proper geek a geek. “Geek guy” is just a secondary Category, and we don’t Appreciate your strange belief That you should have an equal right to speak. Go make me a sandwich; let The other girls and me catch up. Your package is distracting, though It’s kind of nice to know it’s there. We don’t want your opinions; you Should probably just watch some sports. Sure, tweet about it; that’s so cute, But to be honest, no one here will care. Hey, dude, What’s going on? Why are you even At this con? You can’t be one Of us; get gone. Your costume is a lie. Hey, look, I’ve confessed: This conversation was a test. You failed like All the rest. Go home; You’re just a fake geek guy. Hey, dude, What’s going on? Why are you even At this con? You can’t be one Of us; get gone. Your costume is a lie. Hey, look, I’ve confessed: This conversation was a test. You failed like All the rest. Go home; You’re just a fake geek guy. You’re just a fake geek guy. You’re just a fake geek guy. Back to Music page |